Couples and Relationships
It is possible to feel sexual excitement with your partner again, no matter how long you have been together!
Sometimes intimacy has been slowly ground down by routine and responsibility, sometimes resentment and conflict, and other times changes in life, circumstance and health have effected your sexual expression.
It is important to identify what is actually getting in the way of good quality sexual expression so that you can work on creating a dynamic that grows desire.
Recover from an affair
Affairs and betrayal come in all shapes and sizes. From illicit extra marital encounters to friendships overstepping boundaries. Sometimes partners have differing oppinoins as to what constitutes betrayal, porn? erotic massage? chat rooms? sex workers? flirting at work?
An affair does not necessarily mean the end of a relationship. It can signal an alarm that wakes the couple up to what they really want, together or apart.
There is often psychological trauma to both (or all three) parties when an affair is discovered, it can be valuable to have professional help to navigate this difficult time.
Desire, and specifically sexual desire can sometimes seem quite fragile in a long term relationship. There is certainly an ebb and flow that follows the ups and downs of life.
There is an art to developing and maintaining long term erotic desire. Having a balance of emotional intimacy, quality boundaries, nurturing of the couple as well as the individuality of each partner, and importantly clearing out resentment, and increasing the sense of playfulness and creativity in the relationship.
Reduce Conflict and Resentment
Clear out the argument that is on repeat, learn why you get stuck in the same place every time. Learn how to speak from the heart to open the communication style so that you feel heard, and find it easier to hear your partner.
There are simple and effective ways to deal with conflict that can really increase the harmony and conectedness in your relationships.
Couples with mismatched liboido are very common. Over time this can create a dynamic of blame, resentment and expectation, eventually resulting in either an avoidance of sex, or quite toxic levels of conflict about sex.
It is OK if you and your partner have differing levels of desire, with patience and commitment to the process you can still create an enjoyable and fulfilling sex life together